Yes I do...Wanna piss on you

Lets get into a pissing contest. Who can walk away from this postseason a winner? Obviously the super bowl winner can, but lets think more along the lines of individual pissers. First, we'll start with the already-eliminated:

Donovan McNabb: 230 yards from 19 completions with 1 TD and 1 pick? Call me crazy...but this is what you get when you put McNabb in a playoff game, right?
Mediocre performances. And lets face it, if Vick hadn't shot his wad on a 76 yard touchdown pass to Maclin this game would go down as one of the Eagles worst losses in their postseason history. Wait...it still will.

Aaron Rodgers: I don't think I've ever felt as sorry for someone who makes so much money as I do for Aaron Rodgers. Not only does he have to follow Brett Farve in Green Bay, he has to do it with little to no help...keep Driver, Jennings, and every now and then Grant, Finley. Notice I didn't mention any defensive players or offensive linesmen. Rodgers gave the most impressive performance of any losing quarterback in recent memory in the Packers loss to Arizona. 400+ yards, 4 touchdowns...unbelievable! It took a questionable no-call in overtime to propel the Cardinals into the endzone and past the Packers. Green Bay residents: Aaron Rodgers is the answer...get it through your heads!! I give him mad props yo. G? Whatever...

Ochocinco: probably one of the more valiant efforts made (and talked) of any receiver who failed to break 30 yards (in 2 games if you include week 17). It wasn't his fault he got sent to Revis Island, but when he came home his forehead was postmarked "loser."

Carson Palmer: lets move on.

Joe Flacco: Here's a guy I was rooting for. I figure someone that ugly needs to be thrown a bone somewhere along the line. And what does he give me? A whopping 34 passing yards against the Pats! Lucky for him, Ray Rice is on his team. Question: if a stranger stopped you on the street before that game and told you the Ravens would be up on the Pats 24-0 at the end of the first quarter you'd probably wash his mouth out with soap, right? Anyway, he slightly redeems himself and passes for 6X as many yards against the Colts the following week. I liked the Ravens in that game but it's hard to win when you turn the ball over 4 times. I like Joe...maybe I'm fixated with tall, lanky dudes. That would explain why Manute Bol is my hero.

Ray Rice: I will never forget listening to the call in my car...the first play from scrimmage against the Pats - "Rice breaks free up the middle and no one is going to catch him...Rice will go all the way for 83 yards are you kidding me!?" You have to respect Ray Rice for his body of work throughout the regular season, but that one run against an opponent like the Pats, on the biggest stage, might have just catapulted him into elite status. He tacked on another TD later just for S&G. Can't wait for fantasy next season...Adrian who?

Tom Brady: I love Tom Brady. He's one of, if not THE face of the NFL and has been the entire decade. He's edgy, he's got attitude, he's pretty, add in Gisele...he's got it all. Plus, he's a winner. But ever since week 1 of the '08 season, he's been a horse of a different color...a mere mortal. You remember the '07 season? Joe Flacco couldn't carry his jock strap that year. Partly because he was playing at Delaware...ok bad example, lets move on...Where's Matt Cassel?

Randy Moss: I'm not going to bite the hand that feeds me. Randy, you served me well as a fantasy WR this season, but damn...where've you been the past few weeks bro? And 48 yards in the playoffs? C'mon man!

Kurt Warner: Why does no one fixate on Warner's age like they do Farve's? He's turning 39 this year and has been playing like a 22 year old. 5 touches against Green Bay's 'not-offense'...that's pretty impressive. I love Kurt, but with his mouthpiece in I have to admit he's the second most akward looking man with a helmet on (behind Mark Sanchez, of course). He, along with the rest of his team, just got out-classed by the Saints the following week. And by out-classed I mean knocked unconscious.

Philip Rivers: I blame the Chargers loss on Nate Kaeding. Rivers threw for 300 yards and a touchdown. I mean, what else do you want from the guy? You just can't leave 9 points on the field like that. Next...

Tony Romo: At gunpoint, the one memory of Tony Romo I will take to my grave is him botching the field goal snap that would have given the Cowboys the win over the Seahawks a few years ago. But if you look at his body of work since then he really has come a long ways. Did you know he is third all time in Passer Rating?? Finally getting the monkey off his back, he gave the Cowboys their first postseason victory in 14 years a few weeks ago against the Eagles. He threw for 244 and 2...Freakin Sweet. Too bad he had to play the Vikings the following week. I'll give him an A for effort, but trying hard doesn't win football games. Well, unless that football game is against the Lions.

Roy Williams: His Tarheels have been struggling as of late.

Dirty Sanchez: If you've been reading our blog since it's inception you already know my feelings regarding Mark Sanchez...not the biggest fan. But to his credit he did find a nut in the woods on Sunday in the form of an 80 yard touchdown bomb to Edwards who caught the ball (any other receiver...that last part would have been implied). Honestly, I thought Mark managed the game well and gave his team a great chance to win. Can you really ask much more from a rookie? At a hostile Lucas Oil Field he managed 257 yards with 2 touchdowns and a pick. I'll take a few days off from badgering Sanchez...he's earned a Dilfer of respect from me.

Adrian Peterson: Impossible to call him a bust. But do you realize 'All Day' only had 3 100+ yard games this year? 4 if you count Sunday's game. Still...I'm just not a fan of AP's postseason. Against the Cowboys he had 63 yards and touched the ball more than a teenager home alone with an internet connection. The Vikes should have run all over Dallas to protect their halftime lead. It couldn't have been bad play calling...AP got the ball 26 times! He was simply rendered ineffective. And honestly, against the Saints all his yardage and all his touchdowns will forever be marred by the 3 fumbles. I definitely see some chinks in his reptilian armor.

Brett Farve: Ok, Brett Farve arguably had the best year of his career. He made it to overtime in the NFC Championship game at age 40, plus, 544 yards and 5 touchdowns this postseason makes it hard to call Farve anything but a winner. Here's some food for thought: why did he come back after the '07 season? His last pass was picked off in the NFC Championship game against the Giants. Why did he come back after the '08 season? His last pass was picked off in week 17 against the Dolphins...think about it. Those are some stale cookies to digest my friends.

Sorry for the rant...if it's any consolation I left out my segments on Sage Rosenfels and John Kitna.

And finally...Peyton/Brees. Have these guys already done what it takes to be labeled a winner? I'll let you infer my answer. I'll give you a hint: I called Peyton by his first name and Brees by his last. That just seems natural, right? I mean, Peyton has earned the right to be on a first name basis with the world...what has Brees ever done? Driven a Mardis Gras float into the ESPN studios? He failed at that, too! Come Superbowl time the pressure will be on Brees and his ungodly birthmark. Nothing short of a world championship will shed the Ain'ts moniker from him and his team. I hope I wasn't too subtle! Peyton, my hat's off to you...even your commercials are better.