'The Dirty Sanchez'

Have you noticed the talent that's been on display at the quarterback position this post season? Brett Farve, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Kurt Warner - all future hall of famers, right? I mean, who can argue that? Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, Tony Romo, even Carson Palmer...solid quarterbacks. Ok, maybe not Carson...but you see my point. Not to be bias against other generations, but we are witnessing a tournament showcasing one of the most impressive groups of QBs in the history of the sport. Lets face it...last year we saw Jake Delhomme, Chad Pennington, Tavaris Jackson, and Kerry Collins play a brand of football that rivaled that of my coed rec league. Well, that is if they played on the sub .500 teams of my coed rec league. These studs went 0-4 with a combined 2 TD passes in the playoffs. Garbage...and this is coming from an admitted Dolphins fan! What a difference a year makes. At this point I think Favre could piss a touchdown. In fact, this playoff season if you bet on the over you've been golden. Unless of course you were dumb enough to bet on the mighty Chargers to cover the Jets (thanks Mr. Kaeding). But I digress...

So where the hell did Mark Sanchez come from? Are you kidding me?? This guy comes in and and throws 20 picks (2nd in NFL), 163 yards per game with a rating of 63 (28th in NFL) and somehow, not-so-quietly makes it to the AFC championship game? and possibly further?? What possible explanation is there for his immediate success? And don't give me some lame team rushing stat and please don't even think about dropping the name Darrelle Revis. I have figured it out for you...let me share:

it's the stache!

You know all about his (lack of) statistical fortitude. He's in his first year so he should be easily thrown off his game by the defense, right? But instead Dirty just goes out there and wins football games. You've heard of a players' 'intangibles'...some indescribable thing which affects his play? For Mark Sanchez, I'm convinced it's his mustache. It's almost like he draws super powers from it. Like Clark Kent puts on a cape to become Superman, Mark dons some pubes and transforms himself into Dirty Sanchez: the most akward looking man in the universe! With his newly-harnessed, albeit somewhat disturbing powers unleashed he is poised to lead his Jets team to Miami and beyond!

Talk to me all day about Peyton and his flashy 'game plans' and 'drawn-up plays'...you can toss him and the rest of the Colts O out to Revis Island as long Dirty comes dirty. Mark my word: Sanchez will throw and catch a touchdown, kick a field goal and recover an onside kick come Sunday.
Jets 40 Colts -14

How do I put the Colts on a negative score? Easy: I have them scoring 38, but it's a little known fact that a team gets deducted 1 point for every pre-pubescent hair on the opposing quarterback's face.