No football...no problem!

So...what do we do now? Now that football is over I feel like there's a huge void in my life. A giant storm cloud hovering over me, following me wherever I go but instead of rain coming out of it, no-football comes out of it. What am I supposed to do now that I can't go to the bar and spend 50 bucks on booze every Sunday? Save 50 bucks every Sunday? I just don't think it's in the cards for me. I enjoy yelling at a tv for 8 hours...I need it! Actually that sounds a lot like what I did yesterday...

I know, there wasn't any football on yesterday. That's ok, I found the next best thing: Olympic Curling. I engulf myself...nay...I lose myself in curling. I will literally watch every minute of every match televised. And get this...I even learned the rules. That's when you know someone is into curling...I can actually explain how the scoring system works; I'm that hardcore. Confused? Waiting for the punchline? ...me too, but there isn't one, I'm actually serious!

With all that being said, there are some issues I have with curling...

Every week I have the same debate with this guy I'll call Joe I Neverplayedasportinmylife: what's the difference between a game and a sport? I don't want to elaborate because his whole argument is egregious...but just for example: he believes golf is a game rather than a sport because 'no athletic ability is involved.' Conversely, he believes baseball is a sport rather than a game...he must have forgotten that John Kruk played baseball. What an athletic specimen he was...virtually chiseled out of stone! David Wells was my favorite athlete with Cecil Fielder a close second. Anyway, I do find merit in Joe's argument as it pertains to the Olympics. I love curling but does it really have a place in the Olympic Games?? How is a country's greatness measured? By how well it's citizens can slide a rock down some ice, of course. You know what...I can shotgun a beer in 2.5 seconds. Can I get a medal? Maybe I should campaign for beer-chugging to be included in 2014.

I actually heard an announcer say "you think curling is easy...some of these guys broke a sweat during their match today!" I have an idea...to the Olympic Committee: in the future, if you catch yourselves so much as thinking that about any sport...please don't include it in the Olympics. Curling is a life-sized drinking game at best. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go watch Debbie McCormick drop the hammer on some fools. Go USA!