No football...no problem!

So...what do we do now? Now that football is over I feel like there's a huge void in my life. A giant storm cloud hovering over me, following me wherever I go but instead of rain coming out of it, no-football comes out of it. What am I supposed to do now that I can't go to the bar and spend 50 bucks on booze every Sunday? Save 50 bucks every Sunday? I just don't think it's in the cards for me. I enjoy yelling at a tv for 8 hours...I need it! Actually that sounds a lot like what I did yesterday...

I know, there wasn't any football on yesterday. That's ok, I found the next best thing: Olympic Curling. I engulf myself...nay...I lose myself in curling. I will literally watch every minute of every match televised. And get this...I even learned the rules. That's when you know someone is into curling...I can actually explain how the scoring system works; I'm that hardcore. Confused? Waiting for the punchline? ...me too, but there isn't one, I'm actually serious!

With all that being said, there are some issues I have with curling...

Every week I have the same debate with this guy I'll call Joe I Neverplayedasportinmylife: what's the difference between a game and a sport? I don't want to elaborate because his whole argument is egregious...but just for example: he believes golf is a game rather than a sport because 'no athletic ability is involved.' Conversely, he believes baseball is a sport rather than a game...he must have forgotten that John Kruk played baseball. What an athletic specimen he was...virtually chiseled out of stone! David Wells was my favorite athlete with Cecil Fielder a close second. Anyway, I do find merit in Joe's argument as it pertains to the Olympics. I love curling but does it really have a place in the Olympic Games?? How is a country's greatness measured? By how well it's citizens can slide a rock down some ice, of course. You know what...I can shotgun a beer in 2.5 seconds. Can I get a medal? Maybe I should campaign for beer-chugging to be included in 2014.

I actually heard an announcer say "you think curling is easy...some of these guys broke a sweat during their match today!" I have an idea...to the Olympic Committee: in the future, if you catch yourselves so much as thinking that about any sport...please don't include it in the Olympics. Curling is a life-sized drinking game at best. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go watch Debbie McCormick drop the hammer on some fools. Go USA!

Payton over Peyton for Destiny's Sake

(The following comments are used for entertainment purposes only. SofaKing Sports is not responsible for failure to pay rent, bills, car payments or having a bookie beat the crap out of you. Enjoy at your own risk!)


I never thought you could predict Destiny but I'm making an exception for this one season. This just feels like the year for the Saints. In the past, if I ever said the phrase "feels" for a reason to put hard earned money on that team, it means I'll never see that money again. As far as the destiny angle goes, this is one time you should be able to spot it before the game starts. If you don't believe in that crap then think about this: the Patriots won the Super Bowl in 2001(terrorist attacks), John Elway beat the Falcons in 1998(Elway vs his original coach that he hated), Bucs over Raiders in 2002 (proving coaching matters over everything), Giants over Patriots in 07(Giants bringing down the Evil NFL Empire). So that should prove at least it exists and Hurricane Katrina will show its other side in Miami on Super Bowl Sunday(with New Orleans based Mannings on the losing end).

I remember clearly saying after the Ravens-Colts game "don't bet against Peyton Manning under any circumstance." Well guess which doctor took the Jets in the AFC championship game? I'm blaming Chuck and his "'stache power" comments. It was really convincing! He mauled thru the Jets defense like they were the Raiders(can I switch favorite teams now?). If you think that's unbelievable, I'm again not taking the Indianapolis Garcons. Look I have my reasons to be worried, even if they don't make complete sense now to anyone else.

Dwight Freeney not playing would be the best thing to happen for the Colts, a speed pass rusher who has never been much against the run as a Defensive End. They call him the best defensive player on the Colts, but I would argue that that's only because of the leads that Peyton builds for them keeps opposing teams passing late in games. Most teams with a running game keep it close vs the Colts(see Jax, Ravens(reg season), the Chris Johnsons(at Indy), and Dolphins), and oddly enough, the Saints were number 6 in the NFL in rushing the football. They have a 3 headed running back tandem that rivals the 07 NYG Super Bowl winning team(Jacobs, Ward, Bradshaw) in Pierre, Reggie and Mike Bell. Sean Payton will probably realize that slowing the game down will help win this game, like he did vs the Vikings in the NFC championship game. If you play the "Saints give up the 26th most yards in the league" card, then an easy counter would be have you seen the Saints offense score in 3 minutes before? They score fast which keeps a lot of possessions open for their defense to defend. Weak argument, but it is the truth.

A quick opiniated breakdown of who has the edge between the two teams:

Coaching: Sean Payton(medium edge)
Quarterback: Peyton Manning(slight edge)
Running Game: Saints(huge edge)
Line Play: Even(both excellent)
Defenses: Even(no details, just trust me)
Special Teams: Colts(neither has really done anything great)
Intensity: Saints(Landslide)
Team Possessing Peyton Manning: Colts

That last one had to be included since he might be the best Quarterback of all time(not leader, but Quarterback).


Both teams were 13-0 at one point, both teams possess the best QB's in their respective conferences, and both teams have a knack for winning close games. Throw in the fact that they are the two most likable teams in the league, and you have a chance for greatness here. It's the best on-paper matchup since Denver-Green Bay in 1997, and I think you have to take the points no matter who is getting them. Take the five and enjoy the game. Root for both teams, they deserve it and so do the fans. We've been treated to a bunch of crappy playoff games and hopefully the reward will be worth it.

New Orleans 27
Indianapolis 23

Superbowl Predictions

What's everybody doing this weekend? I know what I'm doing...there's a football game I want to watch Sunday. You guys should check it out.

For those of you who don't know, Dave and I live in the Richmond Virginia area and we are getting pummeled with snow and have been for the past couple weeks...I guess global warming is on vacation. So actually I don't really have a choice...I will be snowed in for the next 3-4 days, essentially forced to drink beer, eat snacks and watch the super bowl. Woe is me!

I'm not going to lie, I am expecting great things from this game. Super bowl 44 better be the all-time greatest event ever captured on film because dammit, I can't do anything else except watch it. XLIV better entertain me for 4 hours, take me out for a steak dinner, pay the bill, drive me home and give me a kiss goodnight or I will be pissed and stop returning its phone calls. Realistically, it has the capacity to be the best super bowl in history...the story lines just don't get any better than the ones associated with this game. And as a side note, since when do both #1 seeds make it in? That's just crazy talk...what's it been, 20 years? My concern is XLIV won't live up to XLIII. How could it? Last year's super bowl was the most exciting super bowl I've seen since Scott Norwood was popular in Buffalo. You know what's fun? Walking into a Buffalo sports bar during football season and yelling "Wide Right!" And when the stereotypical angry Bills fan approaches you looking for a fight, punch the guy right beside him.

But it's the super bowl so it'll be exciting no matter what! I guess I just need to be optimistic here...I think the snow is depressing me.

Here's what's going to happen: Before each play, Peyton Manning will do his interpretation of the stanky leg at the line of scrimmage behind Jeff Saturday for about 10 seconds and then proceed to pick apart the Saints defense. Their 26th-ranked passing defense is giving up 235 yards per game and Peyton is passing for 282 per. You do the math. However, I look for the running game to be used more than usual. You might have not noticed, but Peyton isn't quite as effective playing outside. Not to mention, I'm sure the Saints' secondary will be playing prevent the entire game...so why not?

I'm fully aware of how explosive the Saints offense is...but if that's the case, then the Colts created the bomb. What they did to my beloved Dolphins in the 4th quarter of week 2 is a perfect example. I'm pretty sure Peyton Manning had the ball all of 15 minutes that game...but that was all he needed.

Half the Colts roster has been on this stage before, they're going to come in prepared, confident, and unshaken by the hype and pressure of playing in the most-watched sporting event in television history. Add in a great offensive line (ranked #1 in the NFL; allowed 13 sacks) protecting the best decision maker in the game...things get pretty scary for an already-suspect Saints defense. There's no other possible outcome than the Colts topping the Saints by 14. I think the smartest bet to make Sunday is taking the Colts -6.5ish. Well, that and taking the 'heads' bet on the coin toss. Seriously, I'm going to give this one a shot this year.
Colts 35
Saints 21

And now...here's Dave to tell you why I'm wrong:

Dancing with Mannequins

Today was College Football Signing Day.

Awesome.

I love the idea that this gets so much pub. The media is saying "if you suck next year, you should fire the coach because the players are so good!". Notre Dame had a top 10 recruiting class for 2 straight years, which means a lot since they went 6-6 for 20 straight years. I'm gonna run down the top 10, just so we can learn something.

1. Florida
2. Texas
3. Alabama
4. Auburn
5. Oklahoma
6. Florida State
7. LSU
8. USC
9. Tennessee
10. Penn State

This list has zero shocks on it. I saw this information and said "sweet, looks like the last 10 years lists." My favorite college team is Clemson, and their recruiting class always seems to be in the top 15. Oddly enough, this only seems to show me a bunch of 8-4 seasons. That's great consistency, really it is, but this is no different than the NFL draft.

How often do these players actually pan out the way they're projected? Why do we hear the phrase "came out of nowhere" so often? Isn't that like saying "we were so off on this guy, that we're openly insulting ourselves"?

I remember hearing stories about Dion Lewis from Pittsburgh. "This guy was recruited by no one, now he leads the country in rushing!" Doesn't that mean that the guy who recruited an injury prone running back should be fired? How many question marks can be used in just a few paragraphs?

Quick little tidbit for Va Tech fans out there. They never have a top 20 recruiting class, but always end up in the Top 10 of the College Football polls. As far as I can remember, Ohio State has had one well known recruit in the last few years(Terrelle Pryor), but always remain in the National Championship race.

I'd compare this information to the NFL, where the good teams have been good for a few years now but pick near the bottom all the time. This reigns true in any form of competition, Coaching always makes the difference in team sports.

Just ask Brad "The Stalker" Childress and Norv "The Fortune" Turner.

Are you trying to lose? Go sit in the port-a-potty!

Show of hands...who watched the Pro Bowl?

Yeah me neither. I did take a peek at one point and I'm pretty sure I saw Seneca Wallace throw a play action screen pass to Mario Manningham for a 3 yard loss. Truly captivating television. I mean, who picks these guys?? If your first picks are injured or don't want to play...grab some darts and a blindfold! Obviously this is the newly accepted par for picking players past first tier. Did you know that only 10 starting AFC quarterbacks were NOT asked to participate? WTF?

If Vince Young decided to re-reevaluate his life (again) instead of playing in his 2nd Pro Bowl who would've taken his place? Ryan Fitzpatrick? Follow-up question: would he have made the game better or worse? Because I honestly don't know at this point. Young finished the regular season with 1800 yards, 10 touchdowns...Fitzpatrick finished up with 1400 yards and 9 touchdowns. The Titans won 7 games and the Bills 6. Believe it or not, this is what the coaches and we, the fans, are deeming as the best the NFL has to offer?? Matt Leinart is jealous. What else does he have to do?!?

We all know Goodell moved the Pro Bowl to the weekend before the Super Bowl to improve ratings and fluff the public...simultaneously removing the 2 week hiatus we are forced to take between the conference championships and the Super Bowl. But just like the old system, there are flaws: The biggest being that Super Bowl participants cannot play. The second biggest, maybe even 1b biggest: players with injuries are given less time to heal. Don't underestimate this injury thing...it drastically decreases a player's will and hunger to play in a game when the only thing of note that can possibly happen is have an already-bum leg fall completely off from a fluke Willis Mcgahee-esque blow to the knee. Don't get me wrong...these guys are competitors, they WANT to win...they just want to win next year. Can you really blame Favre for not wanting to potentially get destroyed 2 weeks in a row? Plus, his bonus for winning the Pro Bowl is smaller than what he makes for taking a crap pre-game.

Summary: Pro Bowl after the Super Bowl...no good, no interest. Before, not much better, second tier players sucking it up. So what's the answer?

Make it a theoretical Pro Bowl. Don't play it at all.

Kind of like the All-ACC team (insert favorite conference here), give the Pro Bowlers all the exposure and due credit they deserve by putting their names in print. Wouldn't this make everybody happy? The players are still awarded by being named the best in the league and there's no controversy over when and where to play the damn thing. I would much rather watch a Pro Bowl selection show than watch David Garrard do anything with a football. Make it reminiscent of the All-Madden selection shows of the early/mid 90's...why stop there? Let Madden host the show, that would be good television! Instead of awkward miscues between unfamiliar center and quarterback pairings, we'd be experiencing Madden stumble through difficult words such as 'summerall' and 'turdunken'. I'd much rather witness funny than awkward any day...Am I alone on this?

Not only would my idea be great for tv, it would give more NFL players time to make sweet SNL skits! I bet twice as many people watched the Sports SNL Special over the Pro Bowl. Show of hands?? Damn right...that sh*t was funny!

P.S. Play with your kids...so Peyton Manning doesn't have to.