Random NFL lists for 2010, Part One

If you don't think I'm a nice guy, consider this: I'm about to give you top notch information in the form of random lists. In the wake of a possible lockout, this season might be worth savoring, even though the season is always worth watching and too fast no matter what.

The one thing that cracks me up more than anything is that the football season not only goes by the fastest because its the most entertaining sport, but it also takes up less calendar than any other. Consider this, more people watch NFL and NCAA Basketball over anything else, but both only lasts 4-5 months. Baseball, on the other hand, lasts from April thru October(7 months) with games daily. NBA Basketball is another 8 month adventure that most people can't stand, excluding myself of course and Bill Simmons, well and Kobe Bryant. My guess is that people gravitate towards the NFL and March Madness due to the setups the respective organizations have come up with. Every week is more important than the previous, all season long. You can't afford to lose a few in a row, in most cases, and still be taken seriously.

Okay, now you're in football mode. Here's some random rankings and the reason I put them there. If you disagree, well you're probably wrong. All in Top 3 form. Here goes nothing!

Teams most likely to shock you in January, in a positive way:

1) Atlanta Falcons - I Love this team this year, yes Love them. Like Love them so much that if you had to bet a team to win the Super Bowl this year(30-1), this is the team. I can't explain it, but I'll try. Matt Ryan entering his 3rd year, and on his way to Payton Manning type success in the EXTREME near-future, probably this year. Other good things here: Michael Turner still tearing up in his prime, Roddy White becoming as consistent as they come, and a defensive head coach who finally got some help for his secondary. I love this team, and don't laugh at me.

2) Baltimore Ravens - I could just copy and paste the previous paragraph, but I'd rather put you to sleep quicker by writing more. I think Joe Flacco has a huge year. In fact, I think the whole offense has a huge year. Look at these weapons: Flacco, Ray Rice, Willis McGahee, Anquan Boldin, Derrick Mason, "The Killer Not Named Ray Lewis" Donte Stallworth, and the "Most Games Missed Leader" Todd Heap. Look at that list, holy S***! Throw in the most underrated coach in football, John Harbaugh, and watch out for these guys, Farva-Style. (Also worth nothing: this is also the first year the defense will be questioned, like 24 points against per game-style. Then Ray Lewis will hang it up.)

3) Washington Redskins - Chuck and I have covered this once each, but Donovan (Eff) McNabb is going to have this team competing right away. They should call him Chicken Salad, because he can always make some out of chicken s***. I'll point out one negative for them, the WR corps, where the hell did these guys come from?? Thats a real question, where the hell did they come from? Look at this list of scrubs, err, guys! But then again, I guess McNabb has done more with less(See Freddie Mitchell, James Thrash, Todd Pinkston.) The defense was great, considering the circumstances, last year, even without The Fatass(Haynesworth, as Skins fans now know him.) The running back corps has gotten much better as well, as artfully explained by Everyone's Favorite Bartender Chuck here. I'd put them with Dallas as the best team in the NFC East with the NY Giants a half or quarter step behind. Best division in football once again.

Teams to Shock you in January, in a negative way:

1) Pittsburgh Steelers - Actually, this doesn't shock me! I hate the Steelers! Pencil them in for 5-11! Ben Berger is going to be out for the first six games(maybe four, still pending) Byron Leftwich should have them out to a 2-4 start at best with a start of: vs Atlanta, at Tennessee, at Tampa Bay, vs Baltimore, vs Cleveland and at Miami. Lets not forget about that defense, which should improve, but should be on the field an awful lot to start the season. If you're a Steelers fan reading this, just know that I'm a loyal Raiders fan and my team has sucked for almost 30 straight years, so we're even.

2) New Orleans Saints - And this is coming from a man who picked them to win the Super Bowl a few months ago. I hate myself. I think the offense will still be potent, somewhere in the 25-28 point range, whereas the defense can't possibly be as lucky as they were last year. It's impossible, I checked. Too many lucky tips, bounces of the ball, turnovers, and the other team choking up. Check out New Orleans at Miami from last year(sorry Chuck) for more evidence. Favre's interception in the NFC Championship game is another classic example. They will fall off, I'd guess in the 9 win range.

3) Denver Broncos - I already regret putting this here for some reason, but I just can't see this team winning any more than 5 games, I also can't see how they score points, unless one of the Tebow/Quinn/Orton combo catches fire NBA Jam style. Knowshon Moreno should be great in Year Two, but could be limited with carries due to being behind in fourth quarters. The defense overachieved last year in the first half of the season and looks to get thrown on a lot with an aging secondary. Champ Bailey isn't remotely close to a shutdown corner anymore. But like I said, this is when I'm most wrong, when it's just a little too obvious.

Best Three Rookies:

1) Ryan Matthews - I really like this guy, to say the least. He will be on my fantasy team this year, somehow or another, as I bring home another championship. I saw him play against Boise State last year on a Friday night game, and he ripped them to shreds(19 carries, 234 yards, 3 tds, holy cow!.) It was highly impressive. Plus the facts are simple. Even Concrete Legs(Tomlinson) posted decent yards and TD's with this Chargers offense that's in place. Barring injury, i'd put him in for 1100 yards and 12 TD's.

2) Jermaine Gresham - He is exactly what Cincinnati was missing from last year's low octane offense that was clearly run oriented. You can't produce a true winner with that type without an over the middle playmaker to keep the defense honest down the field. This guy can do it, just a fantastic playmaker with Sam Bradford at Oklahoma in 2008 and a huge target for Carson Palmer.

3) Demaryius Thomas - I enjoyed his work in college for a team who ran the football 95 percent of the time. It was unforgettable watching Josh Nesbit throw rainbows 25 yards down the field and having Thomas run under them and get extra yards. I'd seriously compare him to Calvin Johnson for his pro career. Unfortunately, he'll be trapped with crappy QB's until further notice.

Honarable Mention: Jimmy Clausen(if he plays), and Brandon Graham(10 sacks this year, mark it down)

Rookies That You'll Have Jokes For During the Season:

1) Bryan Bulaga - From what I saw on film on ESPN and NFL network, this guys sucks. I can't even sugar coat it. Brandon Graham basically turned him into a pinata on national television. They say he can't handle blitzes, yet he plays Tackle, and every team will know he can't and attack it. This can't end well for the Packers. In related news, Aaron Rodgers got sacked a lot last year too.

2) Sam Bradford - But at least this won't be his fault, his line stinks and he has no one to throw to. You could count Donnie Avery, but that doesn't count. Someone has to catch the balls right? I thought they should have traded down and drafted a lineman, so we didn't have to cringe everytime a rookie dropped back to pass. I'm scared for Sam Bradford's life, no lie. Of course, now he'll lead them to 12-4 and make me quit predicting things for life.

3) Joe Haden - This is just a "feeling". I always see guys from Florida going high in the draft, and not producing. It just happens way too often. They have so much talent that everyone looks a little better than they are. If you want examples, I'll say Derrick Harvey's name. Then I'll finish with Reggie Nelson. Now you'll say, "that's because the Jaguars suck." Also true. I have no rebuttal. Like I said, "just a feeling."

Part Two coming soon.....