Apr 22, 2010

My rant on the hysteria that is the 2010 NFL off-season

Have you noticed the sheer volume of NFL off-season moves this year? It really is mind blowing when you think about everything that's happened in the past few months. We're talking blockbuster trades all over the place! Donovan McNabb, Brandon Marshall, Santonio Holmes, Anquan Boldin, Brady Quinn, Ted Ginn...just to name a few. Throw in all the free agents who found new homes: Julius Peppers, Larry Johnson, Willie Parker, Antonio Bryant, Jake Delhomme, Karlos Dansby. Oh and let's not forget that L.T. and Thomas Jones were released and signed with the Jets and Chiefs respectively. And now I'm hearing that Pittsburgh is entertaining the idea of dealing Roethlisberger? I am stunned! Seriously, this amount of moves involving players of this caliber changes the league dramatically. And why is all of this happening now, this year? Seriously, I can think of 3 other trades this decade: the Clinton Portis/Champ Bailey swap, the rebirth of Randy Moss in New England, and the Roy Williams practical joke in Dallas. So what makes this year so different? I have a theory...

The NFL's collective uncertainty of what will happen during the uncapped 2010 season coupled with the potential of 2011 being locked out has sent the entire league into mass hysteria.

Hysteria is such a broad term. Let's think about it as it applies to a riot. There are a few different types of rioters, let's review:

The Looter: This person takes advantage of the chaos by stealing things when no one's looking. This would be the Redskins when they "acquired" McNabb from Phili. The rest of the league is now jealous of Washington's new boom box and microwave. On a related note, Phili could also be described as the helpless kid on the street corner who just had his lunch money stolen from him.

The Save-Yourselves: Those who realize the situation, acknowledge the threat level, and dip out. Pittsburgh and Cleveland are prime examples. "Santonio Holmes looked at me funny so he's gotta go. He may have been the MVP of XLIII but I can't take his Troy Aikman face anymore...abandon ship!" "We moved up to draft Brady Quinn, gave him ample time to develop by letting him play X Box on the sidelines for 3 years...it's just not working out, we've gotta bail. Shoulda went with Seneca Wallace all along."

The fighters: These guys simply want to join the party! The "also's" of the group - no key roles but involved nonetheless. The likes of Jason Taylor, Ted Ginn, and Jake Delhomme fit this group. You know, the guys who were fighting for a job, trying to convince at least one team they can still play.

Obviously every situation is unique, but ultimately these moves are happening here and now because of money - a desire for more, or a lack of enough, depending on what side of the coin you're talking about: trader or tradee. Well, except for the last group. They'd probably play for free room and board at this point.

A player's agent is put in place to maximize his client's worth (and bank account). They're not stupid. They already know their unrestricted free agents can make more money by entertaining different offers...so this year when there is no cap on spending, they can potentially ask for and entertain bigger offers from richer squads. Brandon Marshall and Anquan Boldin are prime examples. Throw in the fact the draft begins tonight...oh my God, more hysteria! We've probably only seen half of the off-season's trades so far.

Fact: uncapped season to players and their agents = $$$. Realizing this...uncapped season to owners = holy shit! The inevitable standoff begins...

C:\> end rant

Apr 7, 2010

Washington Redskins football: A Look Ahead

It looks like Redskins fans finally have something to cheer about. They've collectively been holding their breath for the better part of 20 years waiting on a winner...not sure if this is their year, but at least they can start to exhale. Maybe this is truly the light at the end of a long, Jason Campbell-filled tunnel. Maybe these off-season acquisitions will take the "dog scratching it's ass on a sidewalk" look off the face of Redskin Nation. It's coming, Washington - a winning season, and Skins fans can taste it! Not sure how it happened...if it's Shanahan, or Bruce Allen, but it's hard to argue against Washington's recent string of off-season moves. For God's sake, they picked up half of the 2006 pro bowl!

For starters: lets take a look at the Redskins running back situation:
Which would you prefer:
A: Willie Parker, Larry Johnson
B: Ladell Betts, Rock Cartwright

If you answered B, clearly you're stoned and should revisit this question later. The correct answer is A! With Clinton Portis to round out this group, you get a Celtics "big 3" feel at running back. All 3 are slightly aged, but very experienced and proven producers. The Skins run game just jumped to number 2 in the East behind Dallas. Think about this: the Redskins only had 8 rushing touchdowns last year...so give Shanahan credit for addressing one of their biggest needs right off the bat. I know injuries are an issue with these guys, but isn't that the case with every other running back in the league? It's the nature of the position...if you're a running back in the NFL, you're going to get hurt. Just ask Willis McGahee's knee. Lately, it's been spotted hanging out with Frank Gore's ACL and Ladanian Tomlinson's ego.

If you're a Redskins fan, how can you possibly be upset with your upgraded quarterback situation? Granted, the majority of my Skins friends are excited about Donovan's arrival...but from those who aren't, I haven't heard this many 'bum' comments since the '06 Rex Grossman experiment in Chicago. Statistically, McNabb's coming off the best 2 years of his career since the '04 Super Bowl: 7500 yards, 45 touchdowns, and a 90 passer rating. Seriously Philadelphia, what are you thinking?? Last year he had a passer rating of 92.9, threw for 22 TD's, not to mention the fact he's only 33 years old! And he's the guy on the trading block?? Marty Schottenheimer offers his condolences. Do you realize that Donovan McNabb's worst season was his sophomore campaign in 2000 when he threw 13 interceptions? I think Delhomme threw 13 against the Cowboys last year. And Phili moved McNabb why? So they could voluntarily go into a rebuilding era? Honestly I thought I understood the game of football and I was just proven wrong. Either that or Andy Reid's been reading Al Davis' "How to ruin an organization" memo. Hope you use that 2nd round pick wisely guys...oh, and good call on keeping him in the division, too! The Skins quarterback position just got upgraded to a 1a, 1b, 1c tie in the East with Dallas and New York.

Defensively, Washington is fairly sound. They always are. 10th in total defense last year, 15th in points allowed. Not much needed there.

Coaching? I can sum up the '09 Redskins' coaching mentality in 1 play: week 15 against the Giants...Luckily, this issue has already been addressed and dealt with.

Clearly Danny Smith found some good reefer before the game. And I love Tirico's comment: "what in the wide world was that?!?" To quote Dave, this clip is an LOL factory!

So where does Washington go from here? This is the true genius of Mike Shanahan: now the Skins can focus on their one major need at the draft...offensive linemen. They don't have a lot of draft picks this season (having traded away 2nd and 3rd round picks) but don't be surprised to see them use all their picks on the O-line. If he's still available...100% guarantee they take Okung with the 4th overall pick.

Also, I look for a post-draft move on a WR. Call me crazy, but I can see Brandon Marshall rejoining Shanahan in the months to come. How sick would that be? I'm giving them 8-8, possibly 9-7 already, but if Brandon Marshall climbs onboard...championship!! And by championship I mean 10-6 possibly making the playoffs. Not to be mean, but that would feel like a championship to the Skins, right? Baby steps Washington, baby steps.

Apr 6, 2010

Donovan "Eff" McNabb

There isn't a whole lot to say on the McNabb, but I'll make a short story long. First off, when did a Pro Bowl quarterback only become worth a 2nd Round pick and a future BS pick. McNabb has led the Eagles to the playoffs in 8 out of the last 10 years, which is tops in the NFL for the decade. What's a winner worth? Being a Raider fan, I know what its like NOT to have a winner at QB(Jamarcus Russell anyone?), as should many other teams with duds at QB(Bills, Chiefs, Browns, Rams, Lions.)

This is just an early prediction, but I think McNabb's season with Shanahan is going to rival Steve McNair's 2006 season with Brian Billick(13-3 record, 3000 yards 16 tds.) He was an upgrade of 7 wins over Kyle "How Did I Steal This Much Money From the NFL?" Boller. This pains me, but with offensive line help and maybe a WR to stretch the field, you could be looking at a top 4 team in the NFC. Shanahan has 3 running backs who might use wheelchairs on opening day, but then again he's made 1,000 yard rushers out of the likes of Olandis Gary, Reuben Droughns and Mike Anderson. For once Redskins fans, the local game of the week doesn't mean "Go Do Yard Work."

Apr 1, 2010

Hey waitress, do those legs come over easy?

Today is one of my favorite days...pretty much the only day of the year you get to devise an outlandishly horrid lie about a friend, practice your play-by-play until you're confident you've maximized potential embarrassment, package it up with a little bow on top and drop your insult bomb (I-bomb for short) on said friend, preferably when he's around a group of co-workers. "Hey Bob, Ted says last night while he was having sex with your wife, she told him she was originally attracted to women. That's why she married you in the first place...your soft, delicate features. She said it would be a simple sort of transition...is there any truth to that?!?" The best part comes next when you get to absorb their reaction, laugh uncontrollably at their expense, and then proclaim to the entire group "April fools!" - the required rhetoric that makes anything you said prior to that socially acceptable. "Your son was arrested...", "I borrowed your car and accidentally paid a lady for sexual favors in the back seat." April fools makes everything copacetic. It's like a get out of beat down free card valid for one day.

The real pros can get away with the implied "April fools" punch line. Sometimes leaving your victims with no explanation merits the best responses later. Simply let them figure out for themselves that you weren't serious when you said "Guys, to show my appreciation for your hard work and diligence I'm going to pay for lunch...so order anything you want, it's on me." No April fools, no punch line, just say it and walk away. They'll get it later. Trust me, they'll be laughing on the inside.

Ah...April 1st, what a marvelous day. Spring is in the air and everyone's in a good mood. The last week of March madness is upon us, the NFL draft is right around the corner, ditto for baseball opening day, NBA teams are vying for the last remaining playoff spots...just an all-around good time of year to be a fan of sports. So sit back, relax, and enjoy my take on today's sports news: